I’ve been asked to write a blog – the thoughtful type. I don’t know much about blogs. Here goes …
I think approaching 40 is a time for effort … or resignation. Last week when I asked a friend to define his mid-life crisis he half jokingly said “it’s when you realise you’ve had your chance, blew it, and it’s time to get on with the rest of your life”.
Two people lost their spouse’s of several years – one wallowed, wanted no one around, and pretty much ended up a shut in. The other built new friendships, moved bravely into gaps their spouse used to fill – amidst sorrow a new life was born.
I think it takes courage to step out and live. To live out all the values I hold, out of my faith with your God – but when I calm down and think of how faithful, able, and self-giving God is, I am ashamed of my fear.
I’ve been facing my own writers block and fear when confronted with the blank page of my life. Explaining to a colleague a business case I was struggling to write this week, she explained a method of her literature professor: start writing those ideas – let them flow out; revise them later. Not bad advice to a constipated perfectionist. We discussed there is also skill in not writing too much before checking you’re on track, or not stopping too soon least your ideas are not communicated.
Lately my life is a bit like that fear of the blank page. I can be scared of living because it may not be good enough or in the right direction, or I can take some steps, the best I can to honour God, as wise as I can, with God – let it flow. And savour the joy and exhilaration of being his workmanship, able to choose and live and have my being before him and for him.
One of the things I find challenging is that our Lord has not given us all the details of how to live in the Bible – whether timeout should be 5 or 10 minutes, whether my house should have 1 or 2 living areas, whether I should make a career change … but he has given us a bible that is sufficient to speak into every area of life.
I’m in a space where decisions seem hard, especially where they could impact ones I love … so I’ve been keeping them in the loop, talking and praying them though, and reminding myself to take courage … and live. The say life begins at forty!
Rob
